Church was good today, Some good lessons. I must admit, Sacrament was very boring, I was super duper tired, I still am, but that's not the point. In Sunday School I didn't realize until the end, but it was as if the lesson was made for me. It was talking about the four principles of the gospel. I guess I've been having trouble with stress, and with the stress I seem to have strained my faith a bit. I know it's true, but I've pulled myself so that I haven't been showing my love for the gospel, and I haven't really been exercising my faith.
I don't want to drop anything I'm doing. Because I love everything I'm doing. I love playing softball, I don't want to quit softball, I am a bit sad that none of my friends are doing it with me. But I will play this year, I WILL, and since I've worked this hard for it I don't want to quit. That would mean that I worked and did so much for nothing, and I don't want it to have been for nothing. Because it was for something! I've had long days of practice and inter murals, and weight training, and working in snack stands, and getting equipment that cost a lot of money. I don't want it to have been for nothing! At the moment I have too much fun to stop, and I love it. So I am NOT quitting softball!
Band is almost done. I have a lot of Band activities in the next two weeks, but once I go to festival it will pretty much be done! So, then I won't have to work nearly as hard. School also takes a lot of my time, I didn't have this much homework last year. I have a ton more this year with history and Chemistry. But that doesn't bother me, it just takes a lot of time. And the time is what's getting to me. My church leaders all think that there's something wrong with me, I'm just stressed, and so I haven't really showed my love for the gospel as much as I have, because I'm tired a lot more, getting up at four thirty and getting to bed later than I would have been. Sometimes as late as midnight. Which hasn't ever happened before. I've always been to bed before ten, but now it's too late. So I'm really tired, and so I'm not as happy as I was, because I'm too tired. And because I'm not as happy, I haven't been showing my LOVE for the gospel.
I've had a lot more missionary experiences. I've had a lot of nonmember friends who have been asking me a lot of questions.
So, I think that I'm going to try to show my faith, because keeping it inside makes it start to dwindle a bit and even weakens my testimony.
3 comments:
You are so wise... your blog entries continue to amaze me. Try to get some rest so we can see our happy, energetic Alex again. Sorry you have been so stressed... but it sounds like one of the stresses will be over soon. You are an awesome missionary and a great example to the rest of us. Keep it up!!
Alex, you rock. Just remember that even when you don't have time, you need to make time for the Lord... it seems like when I do that, he makes time for me, both figuratively and physically. I'm proud of you for not giving up on softball. Keep doing your best. Some day you'll look back on this lack of sleep and you'll wish you could do it all again, cause if you make it the best and busiest time of your life, you'll remember it forever.
:D President of the Brother Bobart fan club. lol jk. I'm really the president of the C.T.T.A.L.I.S.C.
aka comittee that thinks alex lupton is super cool.
Alex you're awesome and I know you'll get over this soon! You're a really good example to me and I know you'll do what's best! <3 ya! -DDR queen :)
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